The Trigger is in my Senses

A sight.
A smell.
A sound.
A taste.
A touch or feeling.

My senses are the librarians scurrying through the great ancient library of my molecules and cells - they fetch and open the books of my beliefs, as I experience one moment after the other.

Knowing this, is empowering.

When I was little, I was touched in a certain way.
The touch was an experience.
If it was loving, when I feel that same touch decades later, the librarians fetch the books with the titles "safety", "worthy" and "welcome".
If it was not, different titles are retrieved.
In an instant.
And as the books are opened, emotions flow into action and actions.

We say we were "triggered".
It is like a trigger pulled.
It can't be stopped.

And after, there are more emotion,
Shame.
Guilt.
Blame.
Perhaps resentment.

And with it, there is that sense (that word again) that I was absent from the moment.
A spectator watching myself act, without the ability to intervene or control.

My senses hold the keys.
The keys to my emotions.
The keys to my beliefs.

Once I see this, I become the gatekeeper of my Life.
The Chief Librarian,
who does not only instruct which books are taken off the shelf,
but also which books are kept in the Great Ancient Library of my Body.

As Chief Librarian
I am able to enquire
about the story behind the feeling.

And I can decide that the story is anachronistic -
outdated.

And with intention,
and awareness,
using a Meditative Somatic Gesture
I can write an other story,
to be placed on the shelves
and retrieved,
when that same touch is felt again.

Our beliefs were sewn into us through sensational experiences.
Now, in this moment, we can patiently unravel,
and resew, with other experiences sensed.

One stitch at a time,
you hold the needle,
you choose the thread.